Alaska!

This video is was made by my soon-to-be stepfather Jim Daniels. It sums up a large portion of our fishing trip to Sitka, Alaska in summer '10.

Daniel Stone.

My cousins husband told me about this song to help me with the struggles I continue to have with love. I never listened to the lyrics before, but these ones really do help me:

Love it will not betray you
Dismay you or enslave you
It will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be
There is a design
An alignment to cry
At my heart you see
The beauty of love as it was made to be

Lovelife.

Hope for the coming months.

Love this song. It describes me and a relationship I still hope I have. Lovelife.

Beautitul.

Watch this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_p7TADNutwc

Pleasure turns to the pain, Of the lessons learned from the strain Of the questions burned in my brain, About whether to love is humane in its touch. These thoughts are like salmon swimming upstream in the tears of your deceit. Fighting the current hurt that kills more than is created by the chaos of our intertwined emotions. Chaotic because the anchor of Eros' arrow has been plucked from the vessel of my undying infatuation. Separation not as simple as the distance between us My mind no longer possessed by the demons that had been the overseers of my enslavement to your lies. The seeds of these lies rooted so deeply they have cracked the foundation of what we once shared. Allowing the faith in us I had sealed inside to gush out like a river, Ripping the image of our future together from my thoughts as violently and as brutally as if it were a child being taken from his mother's arms. I'm left surrounded in darkness but I refuse to be swallowed by it. My loneliness like the night air. Invisible to the eye, obvious to the touch, In its cold uncomfortableness Yet if I could do it all over again, I'd do it in the same skin I'm in. To lay down and let love die, Just stay down and let love lie, No, no, not I. I'll stay 'round and let love fly, Even though I have seen its darkest form, deceit. Nothing else could taste this warm or feel this sweet.

Heard this tonight. Lovelife.

How I feel

You'll never walk alone babe.

I'm willing to take on all her struggles as my own.

Changes.

2011. What are you going to do? I'm planning on making significant changes to my lifestyle. I've been making bad choices during college and want to end those decisions. I feel that certain people are worrying about me due to the dumb decisions I have been making throughout my life. I'm not gonna ever drink like I used to, not gonna participate in many of the activities and I am changing for the better. I'm sick of having people worrying about me and realize that I need to change in order for these people to not worry anymore. The girl I care about, my family and friends do not have to worry about me anymore. I'm a new me. A better me. That "lovelife" phrase is not evident in the way I have been carrying myself and I want to say that I'm sorry. I have really messed up over the past few weeks especially. Being 21 doesn't give you the right to do stupid things. I'm gonna need some help from my family and friends but I feel that I can count on the people who mean so much to me to push me away from those activities I used to do. I'm blessed and I want to continue to be blessed . I do lovelife and you'll see it over the next few weeks just how much. Thank you to everyone who has been there for me throughout this "finding myself" phase of life. I'm gonna be the person you all want me to be. I'll show you just how much I do lovelife. Lovelife.